Kidney Stone

Good Evening,

Last week dad had a few unusually bad days. He lost his appetite and was a little slow getting around. One evening when I was home, he came and got me from the living room and had me take a look at what looked to be a small rock in the bottom of the toilet. Sure nuff, he had passed a kidney stone about the size of a soybean and didn't even feel it. After passing it you could see a noticeable difference in his behavior. He slowly started getting his appetite back, just in time for a two day eating bender.

Looking back on things, the increased pain in his back was probably from the kidney stone. He has been living with pain since his diagnosis so when he spoke about the back pain we assumed it was the cancer, or possibly a bulging disc or something. Dad also has referred pain, especially when when mom is draining the fluid around his lungs.

They're draining the fluid around his lungs every two days instead of every day to try and cut down on the risk of infection. The nurses are still coming by the house but their procedure is to teach the caregiver how to drain the fluid. Thankfully, Aunt Joan has been coming by and helping mom drain his lungs, or the sac around his lungs.. On average they drain about 350 mL every other day. The fluid looks like cherry kool aid. Draining the fluid is a two person job. Needless to say, it's not a pleasant experience for anyone involved. The pressure really builds up around dad's lungs as the fluid builds. He also has pockets of air in his right lung where tumors have closed off portions of his lung. He's usually extremely short of breath when he wakes up in the morning.

We haven't called in hospice, although it has been recommended. Insurance won't pay for hospice and other treatments at the same time. And to be honest, dad doesn't want to call in hospice, for what ever reason right or wrong, so we're waiting on him to make the decision when he feels comfortable. He knows his options. Therefore, were going to try and get a few things taken care of in the meantime. One being a sonogram on this Thursday to get an idea about the kidney stone, the other is to take dad to STL in April to talk to a doctor about doing another nerve block. The purpose of the nerve block is to deaden nerves that usually are affected by the cancer. In theory, we may be able to control some of the pain with the nerve block which could decrease the amount of pain medicine dad has to take. They did a nerve block on him shortly after he got diagnosed but the block only works for about a year.

When I was home last week dad got out of the house a little and ran a few errands with me. When I was over at my grandmas fixing her porch light I looked back one time and he was sweeping off the porch. You pretty much have to go over there and put him in time out or something.

Two phase one clinical trials opened up but dad decided he didn't want to do them. They had potential to be a little toxic. We support his decision.

I'll try and make a post when I find something out on the sonogram. In the mean time, prayers are still encouraged, pleasant thoughts are welcome.

Take Care,


PS: Turkeys are gobbling in central MO. It's a good time of year to get out early and listen for them. I'm saving a spot for dad this spring. Just in case he feels like getting out. It's a long shot, but you never know, when he first got diagnosed I didn't think he would ever fish or hunt again. That was two deer seasons and numerous fishing trips ago. I may just have to bring a turkey home and put it in the back yard where he can shoot it. Just joking, we're not that country. Well, maybe we are, heck, now I'm trying to figure out a way to put a turkey in the back yard. I better go to bed.

Talk to you later,
Tim

Good day

Better day today--fish fry with lots of grease, fun, and sunshine. Was enjoyable for dad to have his family and friends surrounding him.

I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give
is not fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27

Quick Update

Dad is in significant pain with is only partially managed with the medications he is currently on. He is eating very little when at all. Saw the oncologist yesterday--his chest x-ray revealed no change in his lung status, which is good. Lots of family around--dad has had a nice visit with Uncle Don and Aunt Marge. Uncle Craw and Tim returned last night. Thank you for the continued thoughts, prayers, and calls.

Angie

Monday

Dad is hanging in---he is in a great deal of pain. He has a chest tube that mom has to manage daily. He is still trying to keep his spirits up, though reality is taking its toll on him. Craw is staying in Sikeston, for which we are deeply grateful. His physical and emotional support have been invaluable.

The extended Bixler family came to Sikeston over the weekend and did a tremendous amount of work around the house for mom and dad. We are so grateful for their acts of love and labor.

We continued to be so touched by the outpouring of love and support, but at this point we need to ask that anyone outside the family limit their visits to 10 minutes. Dad loves the visits, but he needs to conserve his energy. He would not want me to say this...but it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission ;-) Thank you for understanding.

Warmest,
Angie

Doing Better

Dad seems to be doing better today. A nurse is coming in every day to drain the fluid from around his lungs. I think fluid buildup may have been the cause of his pain the other night,along with a couple missed doses of pain medication. I spoke with him today and he was up doing dishes. He has an appointment early next week with his oncologist. We should know more then.

Back Home

Dad was released from the hospital late this afternoon. Unfortunately, his pain level has increased dramatically since he's gotten home. I spoke with him a few minutes ago and he said his pain was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. He's never had pain like this. He usually says his pain is around a 4. They're thinking about going back up to the hospital but that's going to consist of an emergency room visit, which currently doesn't sound very appealing to dad. I'm not exactly sure what's causing the increased pain. They capped off the tube in his lungs today so it may be fluid buildup. It could be pain from the surgery. I really don't know. A nurse is supposed to come by the house some time tomorrow to teach mom how to drain his lungs using the tube. I'm not sure when she's coming so we may have to do something before she get's there. As you can imagine, things are a little scary for both mom and dad. Mom's continuously checking his blood pressure, which has been running extremely low over the last week. He had 4 blood transfusions last week to help raise the pressure. If you have donated A+ blood lately. Thanks! Mom's being cautious about increasing pain meds because usually it lowers his blood pressure. I'm not home. Craw's been pulling most of the night shifts with dad, staying by dad's side both day and night.

Dad has decided not to pursue new treatment options, deciding to focus more on quality of life. This decision did not come lightly, as you can imagine.

Dad really enjoyed visiting with all of you over the last week. As many of you know, he lives for his family and friends. He always has. It's only fitting that the people that mean so much to him and who have helped him and the family make it through the last 19 months are able to be with him in this most difficult time.
I realize it's not easy to see him in this condition, but I hope and pray the gentle, spiritual, peaceful energy that's surrounding him comforts you as it has me. I have no doubt your prayers have not only extended dad's life, but continue to work in many ways. Like I mentioned in earlier blogs, dad may have not been completely healed, but I have no doubt that miracles have been granted. I pray now that he not suffer. That if the "God of Nature", as the surgeon put it, decides to take him, he does it in a way that a man of dad's character deserves.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask that calls and visits be kept to a minimum over the next couple of days as we move into the next phase of dad's treatment. Some tough decisions have to be made. As you can imagine, this is an extremely difficult time for the family. Dad's not feeling very good and he needs some rest. Mom's exhausted. Please respect my decision in making this request. Hopefully we'll have a new plan together by the beginning of next week which will allow visits to continue. Dad's not going to be happy that I put this on here, but he has a hard time telling people he's tired and needs a break. I just think both him and mom need some rest. Granted, if you really want to talk to him, please call or come by. Or feel free to call me.

Obviously, I hope dad pulls out of this. He's my best buddy. But some things are just out of our control. I've had some good talks with dad lately, as many of you have as well. In a way, he's in a win win situation. He would love to live longer, but he also would like to see his heavenly father as well as his own.

Things aren't always fun in life. I've slowly learned that over the years. There's always going to be a rough side of a mountain. Dad's always said that. But sometimes the trail gets a little wider and smoother. Dad's currently going up the rough side of the mountain but a lot of his trails have been smooth. We're not really sure how long dad has. The doctor quit making predictions after he realized he wasn't a psychic. But dad might just surprise us all. You never know.

I never would have thought, 19 months ago, that things would have turned out like this, or I'd be talking or thinking the things I do now. It's easy to get caught up in a routine where things that make you the happiest seem to slip away. I ask that you think about the things that make you happy and try and put them back in your routine.

Well,it's a little after midnight. I've got to go to bed. But I want to leave you with this. It's a statement that's on my fridge. It's been there a long time. A magnet my sister gave me years ago.

live with intention.
walk to the edge.
listen hard.
practice wellness.
play with abandon.
laugh.
choose with no regret.
continue to learn.
appreciate your friends.
do what you love.
live as if this is all there is.

-mary anne radmacher

Hope you have a good week,
Talk to you later,