Gary Bixler

SIKESTON - Gary W. Bixler, 63, died May 5, 2010, at Southeast Missouri Hospital in Cape Girardeau after a 21-month fight with pancreatic cancer.

Born Aug. 5, 1946, in Cape Girardeau, Gary was the son of Anna Mae Bixler of Sikeston and the late Milton Bertie Bixler.

On June 25, 1971, in Matthews, he married Louanna Sutton. Gary served in the National Gaurd. In October 2007, he retired from the Sikeston Power Plant where he had been employed for 26 years.

In addition to his wife and mother, Gary is survived by one son, Timothy Bixler of Columbia; one daughter and son-in-law, Angie and James Barber of Tuscaloosa, Ala.; two grandchildren, Benjamin and Samuel Barber. Other surviving family include: two brothers and sister-in-law, Harley and Joan Bixler of Canalou and Cordell and Jolene Bixler of Springfield; one sister and brother-in-law, Marjorie and Don Logan of New Orleans; and many nieces and nephews who he adored. Gary also leaves a wonderful church family at Sikeston First Assembly of God, where he was a long-time member.

In life, Gary was most joyful when surrounded by his family. He loved hunting and fishing with his brothers, son and nephews, and enjoyed cooking and entertaining for friends and family.

Visitation will be held at the First Assembly of God Church from 5-8 p.m. Friday, May 7, where funeral services will be held at 10:30 a.m. Saturday with his brother-in-law, the Rev. Don Logan, officiating. He will be assisted by his nephew, the Rev. Alan Bixler and the Rev. Dwayne Maynard, pastor of First Assembly of God Church.

Burial will follow at Memorial Park Cemetery in Sikeston. Pallbearers will be: James Barber, Paul Bixler, Paul Gillean, Rick Green, Merlin Hagy, Karl Klimmeck, Kenny Pinkerton and Ray Sellers.

Honarary pallbearers will be: Jerry Alexander, Jackie Bixler, James Roy Bixler, Collie Crouthers, Desmond Fisk, Bill Reid and Gerald Sitz.

Blanchard Funeral Chapel of Sikeston is in charge of arrangements.

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Contributions may be made to:

Gary Bixler Memorial
n/c First Assembly of God Church
306 S. Kingshighway
Sikeston, MO 63801

or

St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
332 N. Lauderdale
Memphis, TN 38105


Thursday, May 6, 2010 Standard Democrat

August 5, 1946 - May 5, 2010

At 3:05 p.m. this afternoon, dad left this world. The past few days, he has been surrounded by his family, friends, and pastor. It was as it should be. He had been unresponsive for more than 24 hours, but just minutes before passing, he squeezed mom's hand. I am overcome with peace by the knowledge that he is no longer fighting and his spirit is at rest.

Warmest gratitude to all who have walked through the last 21 months with our family. We are deeply grateful.

"For what is it to die but to stand in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Kahil Gibran, The Prophet

Staying at Cape

We got something worked out to where dad can stay at Cape instead of bringing him home. That's going to make things a little easier on him and us. He's surrounded by family and is not in any pain.

Not Good

Dad's condition is continuing to decline. We're still at the hospital but may be making the trip back to Sikeston tomorrow. The way hospice has things set up you can only stay 5 days in the hospital before having to be released. So if dad makes it through today we'll take him by ambulance back home tomorrow. He can't communicate. I'll save you the details but things aren't good.

We've decided to take the advice of the hospice nurses and not allow company to see dad. But, if you want to come up and visit with mom you can.

Thanks for all your support.

Gone From My Sight

I'm currently sitting a few feet away from dad in the hospital at cape. He's resting. Hospice describes his condition as one foot in and one foot out. He's starting to talk out of his mind a little. He can't walk. Speech is slurred. Fluid is building up in his body and he has started showing symptoms that come prior to death. As you can imagine, the last few days have been hard on the family. Hospice was called in yesterday. You can send cards through SE hospital online and they'll deliver them to him daily. Just go to their website. http://www.southeastmissourihospital.com/inTouch/FormGenerator.aspx?form_id=11&site_id=1&page_id=26&major=2&minor=0

Hospice gave me a book this morning called "Gone From My Sight , The Dying Experience." I actually read it. It had big print and only had 12 or 13 pages. It pretty much tells you the symptoms that show when a patient has a couple days to a couple weeks to live. Dads showing all the couple weeks and some of the couple days. I'll leave you with text from the last page of the book.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. An just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

-Henry Van Dyke

Have a good weekend, Don't Worry

Back Home

Dad was discharged from the hospital last Friday. He has an infection believed to be caused by the stint. He's been put on antibiotics to help fight the infection and bacteria. Antibiotics will be given from now on. He went back today to get the fluid drained off his left lung. Mom continues to drain the right lung. He's home resting now. Fluid is building up in his abdominal area and in his legs. We thought they were going to drain the fluid in the abdominal area today but he has a liter of fluid built up and they want to wait and let it build up some more before they remove it.

Have a good evening,

Talk to you later,

In the hospital

Dad's in the hospital at Cape. A couple days ago one of the nurses came to the house and dad's pulse rate was 150+. Mom took him to Cape and the hospital admitted him. He had 103.5 temperature and his blood pressure was extremely low. The doctors are currently in the process of trying to pinpoint the source of infection. Some of the results of the blood tests should be in tomorrow morning. The source can be the port, tube in his lungs, stint, bowels, etc. They've done a CT Scan and are thinking about doing a colonoscopy. They think he's got two different bacterias. He's on several antibiotics. He has double pneumonia, and both lungs and the stomach have fluid in them. The fluid in the stomach is new but they currently don't want to remove it because it contains proteins his body needs. Mom still drains the right lung but the doctors are draining the left with a procedure called thoracentesis. If you remember, this was the same procedure they used in the right lung prior to inserting the tube that mom drains. They drained 1200 cc's (about the same as millileters)off the left lung yesterday. Mom drains about 300 cc's off the right lung every two days. I'm assuming they'll eventually have to put a permanent tube in the left lung. He's starting to turn jaundice again so it's possible the tumors may be growing around the stint, eventhough it was just put in a couple weeks ago. If its the stint causing the problem he'll have to go up to St. Louis. His oncologist,an infectious disease doctor, and a pulmonologist are currently in charge of his care. We're currently in a holding pattern, we should know more tomorrow.

I spoke with dad a few minutes ago. He was up eating and he said he was feeling better. He always says not to worry about him, but that's hard for me to do. Things are getting a little harder to manage and problems are getting harder to pinpoint. Some of these problems we have experienced before, others are new. That's to be expeceted although I've told myself many times, surely it can't get any worse. Unfortunately, it can and probably will. This is a scary experience, I feel sorry for dad or anyone who has a terminal illness. I also have much respect for all caregivers.

This experience has opened my eyes in many ways. I always new cancer was bad, but until a couple years ago, I had no idea a life like this existed. I know through reading this and taking this journey with us it's probably touched many of you in different ways. I hope this online documentation can help those recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Currently, it is a death sentence, but as you can see, with a strong will to live, good doctors, good friends, and a solid foundation, you can make it longer than the 3 to 6 months the doctor is going to tell you you have when you get diagnosed.

I had no idea that this blog would last this long. I don't neccessarily consider myself a blogger. I was actually against the idea when my brother in law first set it up for us. But as I look back on it this has been a great communication tool and the documentation of this fight will hopefully make someone elses battle a little easier. It's definitely been an outlet for me. I wanted to thank all of you who care about dad enough to follow dads fight through this blog. The family appreciates the comments and the words of advise. Please continue to pray for mom and dad.

Dad is extremely lucky to have such good friends. I know he appreciates them. We've talked about it.

Have a good day,