August 5, 1946 - May 5, 2010

At 3:05 p.m. this afternoon, dad left this world. The past few days, he has been surrounded by his family, friends, and pastor. It was as it should be. He had been unresponsive for more than 24 hours, but just minutes before passing, he squeezed mom's hand. I am overcome with peace by the knowledge that he is no longer fighting and his spirit is at rest.

Warmest gratitude to all who have walked through the last 21 months with our family. We are deeply grateful.

"For what is it to die but to stand in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Kahil Gibran, The Prophet

Onward....

The last few weeks have been tough to say the least. Mom and dad traveled to St. Louis where dad had a new stint placed in a bile duct and underwent a nerve block to help with the pain management. While there, it was discovered that he had double pneumonia. A recent scan revealed the cancer has metastasized significantly and vastly. Mom and Aunt Joan have to empty the chest tube that was placed in his right lung every other day. Fluid has now started building in his left lung. He is home now. Nurses come into the home a few times a week, though mom does the majority of his care. Dad is determined to continue to fight the disease with everything he has. It is a remarkable fight.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

Angie

Good day

Better day today--fish fry with lots of grease, fun, and sunshine. Was enjoyable for dad to have his family and friends surrounding him.

I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give
is not fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27

Quick Update

Dad is in significant pain with is only partially managed with the medications he is currently on. He is eating very little when at all. Saw the oncologist yesterday--his chest x-ray revealed no change in his lung status, which is good. Lots of family around--dad has had a nice visit with Uncle Don and Aunt Marge. Uncle Craw and Tim returned last night. Thank you for the continued thoughts, prayers, and calls.

Angie

Monday

Dad is hanging in---he is in a great deal of pain. He has a chest tube that mom has to manage daily. He is still trying to keep his spirits up, though reality is taking its toll on him. Craw is staying in Sikeston, for which we are deeply grateful. His physical and emotional support have been invaluable.

The extended Bixler family came to Sikeston over the weekend and did a tremendous amount of work around the house for mom and dad. We are so grateful for their acts of love and labor.

We continued to be so touched by the outpouring of love and support, but at this point we need to ask that anyone outside the family limit their visits to 10 minutes. Dad loves the visits, but he needs to conserve his energy. He would not want me to say this...but it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission ;-) Thank you for understanding.

Warmest,
Angie

Sunday morning

Yesterday, the goal of the procedure dad underwent was to explore the lungs with a small camera, to identify the source of the bleeding, to cauterize the tumor thought to be producing the blood, and seal the lining of the lungs with a powder to prevent pooling. After only having dad back in surgery for a short time, the surgeon called us back for a talk. He explained that the exploratory procedure with the camera revealed that there is Stage IV cancer "everywhere" in the lungs. There are multiple tumors in the lungs, all of which are producing blood. I'll spare you the other details. So, dad will have a permanent tube coming from his lungs that will allow him to manage the fluid and prevent the lungs from filling.

He was kept in ICU overnight to be monitored and will remain there until late this afternoon. The goal now is for dad's pain be managed and for him to enjoy the time he has with his family and friends. We will know more after we see the oncologist tomorrow, who will determine if dad can come home.

You have heard us say repeatedly how inspired we have been at dad's will and attitude throughout his fight. Yesterday, the surgeon (I am calling him "the surgeon" instead of his name because I have no idea how to spell it, and can barely say it-but he was wonderful) anyway, the surgeon said that before he met dad, the longest living patient with Stage IV pancreatic cancer he had ever seen had lived 13 months. Dad was diagnosed 19 months ago in March. Truly amazing.

On a lighter note, in the spirit of the Olympics, there was an intense crossword puzzle competition in the waiting room. Girls, I'm glad to report that the only female in the running dominated!! (Sorry, Tim).

All of us, especially dad, have been truly touched by the outpouring of love demonstrated by so many. Please continue to hold up mom and dad in your prayers. Each day holds abundant challenges, but our faces are turned upwards and our hearts are linked.

Love,
Angie

Friday

Dad says to thank everybody for your visits, phone calls, prayers, and messages. He also says to thank everyone for how you have supported mom, Tim, and me.

We're still waiting--dad had a blood transfusion this morning-his second. He has a chest tube in the right side of his body which is continuing to drain blood. The doctors are not sure of the source of the blood. His blood pressure is low, and the doctors are not sure why it is remaining so low. His nurse, Dillard (who's great) just told us that the BP should have come up following the transfusions and following a meal. So, that's a concern. Dad is in a moderate amount of pain, but they are managing it fairly well with medications. He's very lethargic, but still talking and eating a little bit. If the blood continues to drain from the lungs tomorrow, they will try to perform an exploratory procedure to identify the source. So...that's where we are and what we know.

We've read dad your messages. He was very touched to hear from you all.

Gotta run, the pastor just brought us in a basket of chocolate!

Warmest,
Angie

Walking through the unknown

If you are reading this now, please stop and say a prayer for my dad. James, Ben, Sam, and I are leaving to go to Missouri in a few minutes. Emotionally, dad is doing well. He is up talking with Craw, Harley, Mom and Tim and is feeling pretty good. Physically, there are some serious complications and the source of these complications seems to be eluding the doctors right now. We are going hour to hour now...dad could pull right through this as he has done before. However, the situation does not appear good at the present time. Leave a message of hope and cheer here for dad if you'd like, and we will read it to him.

Angie

Procedure went well

Dad has just returned to his room from recovery following his procedure. He has a tube in his right side placed between two ribs. They drained 2 liters of fluid already and the surgeon is optimistic that he will be able to perform the second procedure to seal the lining around the lungs in the next couple of days to prevent fluid from gathering in that space. Talked to dad a few minutes ago. He is a bit out of it from the anesthesia, but is in good spirits, as usual. This procedure is supposed to be very painful, but we are hopeful the pain can be managed with meds. The next few days will be critical for monitoring the development of infection. Infection is a risk since a foreign body has been introduced and since dad's WBC remains low.

Tim, mom , Uncle Harley and Aunt Joan are with him now. The pastor spent the morning with them as well. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers.

On the road

Mom and dad are on their way back to Missouri. Dad was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon. There was still some fluid in his right lung and fluid has started building in his left. The doctor said there is a procedure they can do to seal the perforation in the lung, so mom and dad will follow up with the oncologist Monday to discuss options. We are still waiting for the analysis of the fluid that was completed two weeks ago in Cape.

Update

Just left the hospital. Dad is definitely much better than he was this time last night. Still in pain from the procedure they completed to drain the fluid. He's in good spirits, though tired. He will get an x-ray in the morning to assess the right lung and to be sure the fluid is not returning. We are praying that the lung is clear with the exception of the fluid they could not drain today. As I was leaving, I told him that I was so sorry he was having to endure all of this. He said some people have it much worse and that, "It really ain't nothing but a thing."

Angie

Sam's baptism - Tuscaloosa, AL